Saying no is difficult for me. I should be more assertive about what I believe to be the point of view I want to defend.
A Type 9 person is often perceived as benevolent, welcoming and conciliatory. He tends to be modestly self effacing and to put the other person or group to the fore.
I have had the luck to have made some important films with great directors. I am very aware of this and I’m proud of it knowing that my pride doesn’t go beyond that since these are above all films by film makers people remember when they think of me. Catherine Deneuve
My son Enzo? He’s like me. He is above all that, all that chaos. He is someone calm, level-headed; he watches more than he speaks. He is not proud in a showy way. Zinedine Zidane
It is the triumph of the idea of the "French team" that prevails over any other consideration. It takes precedence over the players themselves, over line-ups and states of mind. An entity is born, with its own soul, which does not boil down to a bunch of individuals, however brilliant they may be. Aimé Jacquet
Thus Type 9 finds it hard to take sides and make his position clear from the start. Since above all he values harmony and hates creating conflicts. He spontaneously takes the position of mediator, trying to smooth things over and find compromises to satisfy the various parties.
It is very hard to say no. If it’s something I feel ready to do or that I know others would have less time or fewer facilities to do it, I find it hard to say no.
The other day someone asked me when I last felt angry. It was a good year and a half ago. So, I virtually never get angry with anyone. I can tell someone I don't agree with such and such a thing but it's always once everything has calmed down.
At 45 years of age, I am becoming aware that I have spent a good part of my life avoiding conflicts and not adopting any position. I feel in myself the wish to say what I think more promptly, to no longer only take up the position of being "nice". The book "Stop being nice, be real" helped me a lot. I discovered that I had to have more confidence in myself.
When Type 9 develops the capacity to position himself more quickly and assert what he feels, he gains in self esteem and energy.
Usually, there is a lag, sometimes of moments, sometimes of days, weeks or months, between the experiencing and the communication. I experience something; I feel something, but only later do I dare to communicate it, when things have cooled down enough to risk sharing it with another person. But when I can communicate what is real in me at the moment that it occurs. I feel genuine, spontaneous, and alive. Carl Rogers